Life in South Lebanon's Israeli-run prison Mounir B. Abboud, guest contributor January 3, 1998, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia This article appeared in the Saudi Gazette, for which the author is the Beirut correspondent Muhammad Fouad Nehme was 20 years old when he was captured by the Israelis in South Lebanon. For nearly a decade, the Israelis condemned him to the hellish time warp of Khiam Prison in the occupied zone. Resistance fighter Nehme was finally released with 45 other Lebanese in an exchange of prisoners of war between Lebanon and Israel carried out by the International Committee of the Red Cross. Nehme, now 31, spent nine years in a two-meter-by-two-meter unlit prison cell with four other prisoners. "Living among cockroaches and rats with the smell of excrement from a plastic bucket, which was cleaned out only twice a week, was not as unbearable as what we experienced from our captors. The South Lebanese Army (SLA) men would ruthlessly rampage through our rooms, threatening to shoot us at any second. We were beaten, tortured and ridiculed but were never given the one bullet that would have freed our souls." Nehme added that an Israeli soldier told them they were purposely left "to die slowly" when a prisoner begged to be killed on the spot. He spent much of his time "brainstorming" with fellow prisoners to try and make their lives that little bit more bearable. They rolled their toilet paper into a long thin filament that remained ignited all day long if one end was dipped into the "bucket" -- because of the methane gas given off by the excrement. "The guards would light our cigarettes only twice a day", explained Nehme. "We had to invent this method so we could smoke at any time, unnoticed of course." They shaped a spoon out of old plastic wire, creating essentials which they were not provided. Prayer beads were made from olive pits. Nehme wanted to paint and was often punished for drawing on prison walls with a smuggled pencil. "I did find ways to enjoy myself and the one heavenly feeling I experienced in prison was the sight of the moon." About every fifteen days, he spotted the moon from the corridor window which he and his friends could just see from the ventilation hole in their cell. "Everyone would be summoning their neighbors while I would light the leftover, one-third of my cigarette, lie back and drift into a dream. I have to admit it was the most reviving feeling I shared between myself and the world beyond the prison bars." Every once in a while, he heard the voice of a female soldier as she passed by, "so uncommon and sweet it sounded as if an angel were singing." Nehme said the men eased their boredom by exercising -- doing push-ups, sit-ups and climbing on each other's backs to do pull-ups from the bars of the ceiling. The prisoners built strong friendships and spent most of their time in deep conversation. Every day, the men engaged in dream interpretation after their morning prayers. "To keep our minds and memories functioning as well as to save ourselves from insanity and the inevitable depression, we told each other all we had learned about life and about ourselves." The prisoners were never properly informed about what was happening in the outside world. After he was released, Nehme was shocked at how much the world had changed while he was locked away for nine years. "I had only heard of cellular phones in prison. I was amazed by the drastic technological advancement of cars, telephones and even machine-guns." Many things had changed in Nehme's village, Haboush, Nabatieh. "New buildings had been constructed and some relatives and close friends had died and others had got married. Yet the biggest shock of all was when I found out the Soviet Union had dissolved." On his release, Nehme wanted to go back and join the resistance fighters in South Lebanon but they said it was "best for him to take some time off and relax." He felt he had to make up for the time lost by just "letting go", making the most of his new-found freedom and exploring life. The first thing he did was go to the beach. "The minute we arrived, I ran towards the sea, jumping and rolling on hot sand before plunging into the water. I was paddling, splashing water all over my face and shouting with joy while my friends were watching in amazement." Nehme remembered how, when he was a prisoner, he would imagine the taste of salt water in his mouth, wondering if he would ever swim again. Nehme went on a two-week vacation to Iran two months after being freed and this was a "major stress-relief". He had a good time during his first eight months of freedom, but then things began to change. "I started questioning myself and wanted to start a new life." He felt that he had regressed as a person and he became very depressed and lonely. He felt cut off from the world and it was difficult for him to relate to the changed lifestyles. He admitted that the first thing he thought of when he was released was getting married. He "knocked on several doors" until he realized he was pushing himself too hard. He has, however, found what he was looking for. After an engagement of eight months, he is now married. He is working as a construction supervisor in South Lebanon. "It was hard cooperating with people, especially when I was trying to learn the business from scratch." He wants to enjoy his independence, maintain his job and have a family; however, he will "always contribute to the struggle for regaining the occupied land."